You know what I hate? Mascara.
I watch the TV ads. Did you know that you can purchase a tube of black goo apply it to your eyelashes to give them a ‘fuller’ look. The mascara will give them a full body (what ever that means for an eyelash) and separate them, thereby making you the most attractive person on the face of the earth and you’ll be able to get any fella (or girl) you want, because we all know that men are looking at your eyelashes.
Guess what else I hate? Anti-wrinkle cream.
I mean really, what’s this all about, having to look young – what for? We get old, we die its what happens to us. You’ll go to your grave wrinkle free and people will stand around your coffin gorking in and saying wow, she’s got great skin. She only looks 21 – too young to die. Who says wrinkles are unattractive? The same person who things shirts shouldn’t have wrinkles I’d suggest.
Hate? Hair regrowth.
I’m bald. Deal with it. If your hair falls out, get a transplant and you can have the girlies (or the boyies) chasing after you again. Everyone knows that a full head of hair makes you a stud. (That’s sarcasm in case you haven’t cottoned on to that yet) I can gleefully say that my lack of hair has not prevented me from leading a fully active sex life. Who would’ve thought.
Hate? Nail polish.
Nah – go ahead, put your lippy on and go paint your nails. You already know what I think about it.