I gave you a heads up about Marriage Week here. It’s happening in the middle of September. Quite special really.
So, if you’re a married couple (in Australia that’s a man and a woman to the exclusion of all others), get ready to do some fun stuff during the week. The activities list include these delightful fun things:
Anglesea Baptist Church
Planned Activities:
4 week sermon focus on Marriage and healthy relationships. This will be a followed by the “marriage course” program.
Let me get this right, to celebrate marriage, you’re going to preach 4 sermons to the whole congregation about how great it is and then have a marriage course program. This is the ultimate in celebration isn’t it. It’d be enough to make you want to tie the knot.
St. James Anglican Church
Planned Activities:
Drawing/Colouring Comp.:Open to chn. in 3 age groups will be asked to complete a drawing and colour it in. Photo Night : Monday, 14/9. Featuring a Powerpoint of photos supplied by parishioners. Program built around music items and sharing. Soup/Desert served. Movie Night:Friday,18/9. Free impactful movie being shown. Supper served. Renewal of Vows service : Sunday, 20/0 This will be followed by afternoon tea and Drawing/Colouring comp. prizewinners announced.
A drawing competition? Then a photo night of happily married couples doing romantic things? Will it included some saucy photos of the missus draped across the couch or some lovely snaps of hubby with a raging hard on. A free impactful movie. WTF is an impactful movie. Oh and then the ultimate of any celebration, the renewal of vows. ’tis very romantic. Let’s reinforce our marriages by saying the magic words all over again, just in case you forgot. Great way to remind the other partner about their obligations. ” I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad”
Glen Waverley Anglican Church
Planned Activities:
movie night and/or dinner
Woo hoo a movie night and maybe dinner – wonder what the movie will be? Will it be some porn? I can just see them all sitting around in their bean bags watching Debby Does Dallas and having rampant sex on beans. Perhaps it’ll be an orgy and everyone can drop their car keys in a bowl as they arrive. This sounds like a ripper!
Berwick & Nazeret Baptist Church
Planned Activities:
Marriage Gym. It is a 10 week course held in homes. Starting on Wednesday nights starting 19th August in Narre warren. Register online www.marriagegym.com.au
Marriage gym? Wow, that sounds like a lot of fun,
Marriage Gym for Women is a fitness program designed to get your relationship into great shape.
So, you don’t take hubby, just a bunch of women sitting around bitching about their husbands and their people pokers.
The “What’s happenin” part of the website shows a lot of churches with TBA – most of them have no planned activities, or they’ve signed up and forgotten about marriage week. It’s looking like its a non-event unless you happen to belong to one of the fringe branches of christianity.
How would you celebrate marriage? Sitting around with a bunch of other marrieds doesn’t sound like a heap of fun, I’m thinking more of a barbeque at home with those you love and not some stupid minister thumping his version from the pulpit. Or better yet, if you got married in a church, renounce your faith and make the commitment to the one you love based on nothing but the way you feel about them. No fancy “What god has joined no man can part” crap.