I made mention of twitter and the hash tag #thankugod back here. I even added regular twitter updates in by side bar over to the right, just because I think it’s really funny that people use twitter to thank god for stuff. I wasn’t even aware that god had a twitter account, but apparently he reads it, and true to form the dirty rotten bastard doesn’t ever tweet himself… so rude.
The faithful are so… well faithful. They get up in the morning, switch their computers on or grab their phones and send a tweet:
10Deroni Gd Mornin 2 u!Gd mornin 2 u! #ThankuGod 4 wakin me up & startin me on my way! & also providin me w/everything needed 2 make it through!I♥U!!
It’s nice to see god is up and about early, just like your mother getting breakfast read to start you on your way.
The thing that gets me though, is the pure arrogance of the flock. (baaa) They think that their god is wrapped up in their daily lives and does so much for them. They give credit, praise and thanks to the silent god that so carefully plans and looks after their lives. He must be so busy doing that the he doesn’t have time to visit Pakistan or Dafur or Samoa. God has time for this:
Bel1961 #thankUGod for the miracles (BIG and small) in our lives, Praise Your Mighty NAME !!!
Which I’m sure makes him feel wonderful, he’s so busy taking all the praise that he doesn’t have time for the 61 year old who got hit in the head with a baseball bat at McDoanlds. [SOURCE], he wasn’t so busy when a baby’s pram rolled in front of a train, the baby survived with a bump to the head. [SOURCE] Thank U god! Wait a minute, why didn’t god just put the brake on the pram? Why didn’t god make sure the woman put on no slip jeans that day? Why didn’t god make the train late, or cancelled – happens every day? Miracle my arse.
The tweets:
drneva Good is soooo good!!! 6month old baby survives being hit by a train…
Yeah, right. good, he saves this baby and kills millions of others
JohnPiper If this baby had been crushed the world would cry, “Where is God?” Will they see his hand under this train?
Where was god a few seconds before. Why didn’t he make the mother keep her hands on the pram? Bastard.
ovamovies Just watched the footage of the the baby falling onto the train tracks them being run over and being fine. Now try saying there is no God!
There is no god – you idiot.
jimfromstpete Baby Survives After Being Hit By Train! What a Mighty God…
So mighty he has time to save a baby in Australia, but lets other perish.
deantwan Baby survives after falling on train tracks (unbelievable video showing the sovereignty of God)
Tosser – if god was so fucking good he would have stopped the train!
landrushnow – Baby Survives After Being Hit By Train! Miracle of God!
No miracle, just the way the pram rolls.
Lynettaa Check this video out – Super Baby Survives Falling Under Train Our God is AWESOME!!!
So awesome he’d sooner let children starve or die from disease because he’s busy saving babies from trains.
haleysings Praise God for His mercies.
Yeah, the last thing we need is the woman’s jeans falling down.
But the ultimate in the #thankugod stakes is the selfishness of the whole thing. Sure sometimes a nice little christian will thank god for their mum or dad, or for saving the baby in the pram on the other side of the world, but mostly they thank god for selfish reasons.
kwc2008 #THANKGOD literally that I get paid Friday & that school is goin good & that me & my family are well. Life COULD be better BUT NOT much! HA
God determines pay days? I thought you had to wait till you got to heaven for that.
Jay_89 I #thankgod that even though I’m a #brokecollegestudent I never go without a meal, clothes etc
You do porn to get by?
But are the rest of us thankful? Maybe we think your god should have taken you.
iamTEE_WIFEY #thankgod for waking me up this morning! I will be in church next sunday nd thats ah promise!!!
Is that a bribe?
sTuCkonLIFE #THANKGOD FOR GOOOOOOD SEX
At last – that I can understand. And here I was thinking the Love Llama was just really hot.
Check out @almightygod on twitter. As fake Gods go, he’s a funny one, they should tweet to him and they’d get more than they asked for. Enjoyed your post btw.
Thanks ChemBob – @almightgod is already on my Twitter list! He’s very good.
JC – I’m gonna say that next time I’m late. Just heading off know to look at the trending topics.
Whenever I see the thank you for waking me up I imagine someone trudging into work late and muttering “Fucking Jesus forgot to wake me up this morning.”
Also today the trending topic is No God (it came about from a bunch of xians RTing No God No Peace, Know God Know Peace. Now they’re clamoring for twitter to remove that from trending topics.
Ok, so I will have to check on this @almightgod on my Twitter…looks like he is quite popular! I love your post and research on #THANKGOD on twitter 🙂