I have finally worked out why Mary Fucking MacKillop has only performed two miracles. Â It’s because she’s busy in heaven with jesus. Â He is so beautiful.
Jesus is neat
You only have to walk around any cemetery to see just how cute he really is.  Nicely trimmed beard, dreamy eyes and a nice taut fit body.  Of course, the heart on the outside of the clothes is a bit of a worry, but it seems to be pumping OK, you’d probably want to get him some shoes and perhaps some band-aids for the cuts on his hands.
And what conditioner and shampoo does he use? I mean how do you get your hair to be so perfect. Â It’s wavy and appears to be knot free. Â Then there’s the eye shadow, maybe a bit of mascara to highlight his long lashes.
And the beard is to die for. Â It looks soft and well groomed and offset by he’s red lipstick, which matches his heart and cloak. Â How co-ordinated of jesus, and it only goes to show that the man had a good eye for fashion and knew how to look after himself. Â I mean really, doesn’t he just scream “Come play with me now”?
Jesus pokes his heart
So when Elton John said that jesus was gay [SOURCE], perhaps he wasn’t far from the truth. Â I bet jesus was telling all his followers how to dress and had a constant supply of tips for the homosexual.
Bill Donahue from the Catholic League in the US certainly wasn’t amused [SOURCE]. Â He’s still taking the whole jesus thing seriously.
More seriously, to call Jesus a homosexual is to label him a sexual deviant.  We’re not sure what’s worse—John’s ignorance or intolerance
Oh Billy boy, there’s nothing deviant about being homosexual. Â There is however, something wrong with you. Â You think dead people still do stuff. Â Poor bastard. Â It’s also rich that someone so homophobic and intolerant of people who are gay should call someone else ignorant and intolerant.
Being catholic is all about eating dead people’s flesh and drinking dead people’s blood. Need I say more?