So, some people in England are getting married.  I’m wet with excitement.  Sorry, didn’t mean to drool on you.
Seriously? Â They’re getting married and the rest of the world is going to watch? Â You’re fucked up.
You are.
Now, I’m all for happy events, I’m glad that Willy and Cathy reckon they’re made for each other. Â What’s a wedding without presents? Â Don’t give them anything, donate to charity. Â Last year I got a duck donated to a small African village. Â Oh, they’ve already done that… give to charity they say. Â The retailers must be pissed off. Â There’s a website that lists the charities that you can donate to. Â Our lovely PM, Traditional Values Gillard made a donation on behalf of every Aussie to the Royal Flying Doctors Service, $25,000.00 – So did the South Australian Premier, along with this comment:
“The Royal Flying Doctor Service is an icon of Australia and is critically important to outback South Australia,” Mr Rann said.
Hey you arse, if it’s critically important why don’t you fund it properly in the first place.
On the ABC, the Chasers were going to do a commentary over the top of the vision from the BBC – if I was inclined to watch it, that’d be the only way I could do it, but alas, the Palace has seen through that and told the ABC that the footage can’t be used
“in any drama, comedy, satirical or similar entertainment program or content”.
So, no poking fun at the the Royal Willy and Cathy.
Let’s face it, this is a big PR stunt for the Royals, they get to look good in the eyes of the public.  It’s a bit like the catholic church making a saint.  It’s a lot of hype for no return. It stinks of privilege that is undeserved and the happy couple, who don’t want nice salad bowls and a toaster, are ‘doing’ their bit by helping the poor kiddies by asking everyone to donate to a charity, while maintaining a lifestyle of riches and privilege in our society.
So, 1,900 people will descend upon England for a grand old time.  They’ll fly in, boat in, chauffeur driven in.  People will line the streets and wave small plastic flags that have been Made in China, cheap plastic cups, mugs and other rubbish will be produced with the royal logo on it, somewhere some government will mint a coin and everyone claps and will be happy.
Except the poor people.
And those that can’t get married
And those marred by unhappy relationships
And those that really wanted Willy for themselves.
The planet groans as more of its valuable resources are consumed in mindless pursuits in aid of a pseudo-privileged few who really should have just sent an email wishing them all the best as they nipped off to the registry office to have a civil service.
Bring on the republic.