CTFM – Bruce Llama

Pastor Danny is Wailing and Screaming at the Sky

Bruce — Sat, 26 Oct 2013 01:40:52 +0000

Here we are in October and New South Wales are in the grip of a major catastrophe with bush fires burning out of control, causing much destruction.

The tragic events brings religious nutters out of their homes to invoke the name of their god to help. I blogged about the recent activities of our favourite pastor Danny Nalliah, to recap, he had a dream and he thinks god told him to go to the bushfire area and pray for rain. So he did.

He actually thinks that he made it rain!

Yesterday, Pr Daniel led a prayer meeting in the Blue Mountains area about ten minutes from one of the major brushfires.

He ignored the advice from emergency services that people should stay away. What an arrogant man, not only is he claiming to be within 10 minutes of a major wild fire, he’s dragged along 30 people to pray with him.

While they were praying, the heavens did open and a good soaking rain started falling where they were, resulting in them having to move undercover. The weather conditions completely changed with no dangerous winds and 23 degrees temperature.

The real test for this sort of shit is whether it would have rained anyway. Of course it would have! Just so we’re clear here too – there wasn’t enough rain to put the fires out, and while it helped the emergency continued and in fact the fires flared up again the next day.

This morning at 7.30am, Pr Daniel was in contact with people from the Blue Mountains, particularly several pastors, who confirmed that the soaking rain (in some places up to 5 mm of rain) continued all through the night in almost all of the bushfire affected areas.

But not enough to actually stop the bushfires. Maybe they didn’t pray hard enough.

The good news is that all four major bushfires have been downgraded this morning from emergency to watch and act.

Yes, that’s right, but not because you bunch of extremely silly people spent time in a park wailing at the sky. What you won’t hear is that the next day the fires flared again and were again upgraded to ’emergency’.

Pr Daniel has activated an action plan of prayer from 12-1pm today Wednesday 23rd October.

How is praying considered an action plan?

In the comments on the blog Norm says this:

Norm Bishop

22 October 2013

Before I picked up Pastor Daniel Nalliah from Mascot this morning, Jesus began to answer Pastor Daniel’s prayer. It began to rain requiring me to use my car’s windscreen wipers.

Wow, how powerful is Danny, it’s raining before he even gets off the plane!!

The rain continued through our prayer and praise time. At the end we believed that we had achieved what God had called us together to do.

Prayer and praise time… interesting concept… anyway, why does god need you nutters at all? Surely it would have been easier to prevent the fire and destruction by making it rain before it got so bad? Your god is a bastard.

Our God answers prayer and particularly when we obey his voice and do quickly what is asked of us.

Really? So nobody else was praying for rain before Danny arrived to wail at the sky? You know what he prayed for? He prayed for other pastors who think abortion is ok, he prayed for marriage and he prayed to stop suicides. He prayed for those who have had abortions. He actually thinks that the reason for the fire is because people are sinners that have abortions, get divorced or kill themselves. Danny believes that his presence and words of ‘repentance’ are what’s needed to stop a bush fire.

The next day we get another blog post with more insane mumbo jumbo:

We were saddened not to see anyone thank God for the rain on Tuesday night the 22nd of October, because that was the time that the Australian media announced with a great deal of negative hype that it was going to be the worst 24 hours.

Could that be because no gods had anything to do with it? Maybe the sadness is because nobody showed up with TV cameras to film the insanity and simply ignored the outrageous claim that Pastor Danny is able to command god to make it rain.

Well, glory to God for a group of 30 plus believers in Christ Jesus met in the Blue Mountains with Pr Daniel and stormed heaven in repentance and prayer, as the Blue Mountains is very well known for its satanic occult activity.

Only 30. That’s the best you could do? How many believers does it take to shut their eyes and mumble some words to ‘storm’ heaven. Up until now I had no idea that the area was well known, sorry, very well known for its satanic activity. No wonder it was burning!

Be sure to check out these postings by Martin S Pribble. He’s written some excellent blogs about superstition, it seems fitting that he shares my blog post with Pastor Danny. Martin writes this:

It’s when we perform a random act (such as screaming at the sky asking for rain) and the random act is randomly “successful” (i.e. it rains) that we conflate the two unrelated events.

The world needs more common sense and less screaming at the sky.

Smashing Superstitions – An Introduction to Personal Mythology

Smashing Superstitions – Even Pigeons Can Do It

Smashing Superstitions – A Way to Divide

Nalliah calls for Rain Dance to douse Bushfires

Bruce — Tue, 22 Oct 2013 02:10:01 +0000

[SOURCE]

Bushfires are raging in New South Wales, but the weather may be about to change.

It's pouring in Lithgow! #NSWFires @ABCNews24

— Michael Rowland (@mjrowland68) October 22, 2013

Which is good news.

Our defeated Senator candidate, Pasta Danny had a dream!

I told him that I would pray through the night and if God gave me a clear word, I would come there to pray. In the early hours of this morning, I had two dreams. In the 1st dream I was with this Pastor friend and a few others on our knees in an open park in the Blue Mountains very close to the bushfires, praying and crying unto the Lord to send the appropriate winds and rains to stop the bushfires. Moments later, I had a 2nd dream in which I saw a news reporter on the 4:30pm news broadcast stating, ‘Sudden weather change brings hope to put the bushfires out.’”

Woo hoo – a prediction!

He goes on to say:

In response, we at CTFM have called an urgent prayer meeting which Pr Daniel will be personally leading from 3-4pm today Tuesday 22nd October in the Blue Mountains at Glenbrook Park, Cnr Ross St & Park St, Glenbrook. Near tennis courts. Turn off Gt Westetn Hwy at Tourist Infirmation Centre / Caltex Service Station. (approximately 5-10 minutes’ drive from bushfires).

Pr Daniel stated, “I believe that as the people of God unite this afternoon from 3-4pm to repent and pray as in 2 Chronicles 7:13-14, there will be a positive change in the weather in the next 24 hours with the appropriate winds and rains to stop the bushfires, despite the weather bureau’s current predictions.”

So rather than stay away from a dangerous area he is actually inviting people to drive into a bushfire area to pray for rain.

I thought the belief was that god was everywhere – is the prayer somehow more magical when you’re in danger of being burned alive?

So, urgent call, get there before it starts pouring down!

I hope the authorities charge him with being a public nuisance and run him out of the state.

Stupid fuck wit.

Jesus, it’s Allah

Bruce — Mon, 26 Nov 2012 11:12:04 +0000

[SOURCE]

It seems that a bunch of Muslims have decided to build a new mosque right next door to a planned church! Â I’m all for it, houses of religion should all be put in the same area. Â Throw a synagogue in there too! Â Oh and look, it’s our old friend Pasta Danny Nalliah from Catch the Fire Ministries and head honcho of the extreme right Rise Up Australia Party, where their catch-cry is Keep Australia Australian.

“We don’t approve of Islam as a religion but we love Muslim people. Islam teaches that those who follow other religions are infidels. Â “It is a religion that doesn’t value freedom of religion. Having those same teachings right under our noses is counter-productive to our church.”

Luckily in Australia we don’t need Pasta Danny’s approval on the establishment of religion. Â How stupid is it to point out that muslims consider other faiths to be wrong right after you’ve just said you don’t approve of Islam as a religion. Â How bizarre though that he should go on to say that Islam doesn’t value freedom of religion… sound remarkably like the wet Pasta is having a bit of trouble valuing freedom of religion too.

He said that homes vacated by “fed-up” neighbours would be bought up by Muslims, creating a “sharia [the moral code and religious law of Islam] zone”.

So? Â You do know that in Australia we have this other thing, it’s called the law. Â If you break it expect to be charged and prosecuted. Â People buy houses in all sorts of places for all sorts of reason, and yes sometimes because the house is close to their synagogue or church or mosque.

Here’s another in the long ongoing saga of PastaÂ Noodle-headÂ thinking he can get some free press by whingeing about the muslims. Â He really can’t stand atheists, gays or muslims.

Australia is a multi-cultural society, most of us get along just fine and we don’t need to worry about what religion our neighbour is. Â Pasta Danny is out to cause extra conflict and to create a storm where none needs to exist.

I agree with him that the mosque shouldn’t be build, but then I don’t think he should build a $2 million church either, why not spend the money on something sensible, you know, like some housing stock for the poor?

Places of religion are a waste of money. Â Seriously.

Rise Up Australia Has Magic Words!!

Bruce — Tue, 06 Mar 2012 10:51:53 +0000

[SOURCE]

I just love reading what everyone’s hopeful pastor is up to, he regularly posts his activities on the church blog.

Dan babes is hoping to get into parliament next time around as part of his new political party called Rise Up Australia – I’ve blogged about it before. Â Think about what his written here before you even think about voting for him or any of his candidates:

My heart goes out to these beautiful children who have not experienced a fatherâ€™s love. Our nation is full of fatherless children.

No it’s not, it’s probably more accurate to say that Australia mostly has fathered children. Â In fact in 2004-2006 22% of children under 15 where in single parent families¹

We desperately need real fathers standing up in the gap to be willing to help these young men and woman who are desperately looking for a fatherâ€™s heart Â of love.

What the hell is a ‘real father’? Â Who of the 486,000 single parent families are desperately looking for a fathers’ heart of love? Â What does that even mean?

Unfortunately, they are looking for it in all the wrong places.

It’s still not clear who is looking and for what, perhaps if we knew we could point them in the right direction.

Looking for love, many young woman turn to drugs, alcohol, etc. and very often get pregnant. Then they go on to have abortions. This is so sad, as many of them are now suffering with depression and suicidal thoughts.

Right… where are you drawing the information from to reach your conclusions? Â Where are the stats on their suffering, depression and suicidal thoughts? Â Is it only the children of single parent families that are having the abortions?

Many young men who do not know their fathers, lacking their fatherâ€™s love, turn to drugs and alcohol. Â Many become involved in homosexuality. This is destroying a whole generation of young men, as they too are suffering with depression and suicidal thoughts.

Now you seem to be suggesting that because a child hasn’t got a father they turn to drugs, alcohol and many become ‘involved’ in gay things.

Oh Lord, please help us the church to repent and pray to see our nation healed.

And your answer to all of this is to have the church repent and pray? Â Magic words will give a magic solution to a problem that doesn’t seem to exist.

It’s so much easier to make broad and rash generalisations than it is to identify the real issues and do something to actually help.

Faith wouldn’t be enough to save Australia if these jokers got into power.

Â AustralianÂ BureauÂ Â of statistics SOURCE ↩

Keep Australia Australian!

Bruce — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 07:20:09 +0000

That’s the catch cry of the Rise Up Australia Party. Â It’s president is an immigrant from Sri Lanka. Â He’s hardly what you’d call your typical bronzed Aussie. Â But of course, Pasta Dan isn’t talking about skin Â colour when he says keep Australia Australian, he’s talking about keeping the non-christians out. Â If you accept the lard jebus as your saviour, you’re in! Â Oh, and it’s ok if you’re a jew, coz we have a judeo-christian background.

It seems that the new political party has registered enough supporters to be recognised by the Australian Electoral Commission. Â I’m sure that’s exciting. Â In the blurb about the new party Pasta Dan says:

We want to restore to Australia the common sense values and traditions which have made this country one of the best and most stable democracies in the world

That sounds fine, except that Pasta Dan is really a born again christian and writes things like this:

I have cast demons out of many born again Christians in ministry across the nations and seen them move into complete freedom in Christ Jesus our Lord and Saviour…

Another young boy who had recently rededicated his life to Jesus was standing at the altar and worshipping Jesus. Then suddenly he started screaming and rolling on the ground. He was set free of many demons. This young man had deliverance for almost 3 hours…

All I can say is that thousands of demons were cast out of dozens of people…

Demons are real. Do not under estimate them. But glory to God we have more power than demons…

That’s just some of the highlights from this blog entry at Catch The Fire website.

There are some other statements that are just as whacky here:

Very often when a marriage breaks up, there are so many children whose hearts are terribly broken as they do not want to see mum and dad separate. Unfortunately, these broken hearts of these children very often become big doors ways through which satan enters their lives.

So, because the parents break up, satan gets in, through big doors, and causes the kiddies to have demons? Â And your god allows this because?

A major door way was opened for demons to get in when she had an abortion. The young lady repented and through Godâ€™s grace was set free!

Oh great, some arsehole left the door open again, that’s how the bastards get in. Â Consider that idea that he thinks demons get in when a woman has an abortion, to the manifesto of his newÂ politicalÂ party:

14.Â We wish to make abortion history by providing those social conditions that support women in their lives so theyÂ are notÂ forced into situations where they feel there is no option but to have an abortion.

No doubt the devil is forcing women to have abortions so that the demons can invade.

And to think that this guy, the good Pastor Daniel Nalliah, is serious about trying to get toÂ parliament!

No doubt we can expect the opening of every session to be him parading around casting out demons! Â I can just see Tony the Rabbit or KRudd rolling around spewing out green stuff and letting the demons out. Â Gillard will be very lady like, cover her mouth and just give a burp, coz she’s a traditional woman, don’t you know.

Rise Up Australia Party or RUACH

Bruce — Fri, 15 Jul 2011 07:26:17 +0000

[SOURCE]

Pr Daniel Nalliah has set up aÂ politicalÂ party, I’ve blogged on him before.

The party is your standard run of the mill christian right (w)ring(ing) of hands type, it’s manifesto includes such great lines as:

our Judeo-Christian heritage, which includes the Ten Commandments, the Sermon on the Mount, the 1215 Magna Carta and the 1688 Bill of Rights

and

uphold the Constitution of the Commonwealth of Australia, with its Preamble that this nation is â€œhumbly relying on the blessings of Godâ€

and my personal favourite

Believing that socialism is to be avoided and that the free enterprise system is best, as long as it is constrained within the benevolent boundaries of Christian principles; and

Because you can’t actually help people who are down and out, it’s best that they just get a job and get on with it.

But the burning question is why does the pasta want to start a party? Â I know it burns in your mind. Â The answer is… god told him to, in a dream, or a vision.

That morning the Lord said that He would give me a bottom up and top down plan to transform the nation.Â The bottom up plan was to rise up prayer all across Australia and He gave me the name â€˜Rise Up Australiaâ€™,Â but He did not tell me about the top down plan.

God told him to give Australia 20 years

I asked the Lord as to what must I do, and He said to give Him 20 years of my life for Australia and that He will give Australia by 2020 as an inheritance.

An inheritance? Â His god is going to give him Australia?

God also revealed to us that the meaning of â€˜RUAHâ€™ in Hebrew is â€˜the breath of Godâ€™ and the meaning of â€˜RUAâ€™ in Hebrew is â€˜God has given us victory over our enemy (the devil)!â€™ Glory to God!

OK, I think you may be trying to say that the Hebrew word Ruah could be an acronym of Rise Up Australia Party, which would be RUAP, but alas, the Hebrew word you’re speaking of is Ruach (clearly spelling isn’t one of gods strong points) which does mean breath or spirit, not sure about the breath of god, but if you want to use the correct spelling can I suggest “Rise Up Arsehole Cunts Hope”

And as far as I can tell Rua in Hebrew means to ‘raise a shout’¹, it’s pretty difficult to get ‘god has given us victory’ out of that.

So, all in all, the good pasta is onto something, no doubt this bit from Monty Python sums it up really well!

It is the hope of the good pasta sauce that he will be elected to parliament, because god told him so.

Really, I mean really, do we want some person who thinks that jesus himself chats to him for a couple of hours, do we really want him in our halls of power.

Rise Up Arseholes!

Check out the other definitions here ↩

Rise Up Australia!

Bruce — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 23:10:18 +0000

[SOURCE]

There’s a new political party in town called Rise Up Australia. Â And despite the name, I regret to inform you that it is not a bunch of horny gays running around with huge phalluses rising up to conquer the world, it is alas a bunch of rabid christians running around with giant erections prepared to fuck the country over by sticking their dicks where they’re not wanted.

The party is lead by Pasta Daniel ‘The Lion’Â Nalliah¹. Â He’s really very excited what with launching his party and having an erection and all. Â Have a look at this for arrogance:

Interestingly, the weather forecast was predicting wind and rain for this day, as we checked day after day leading up to Wednesday the 22ndÂ June. Even on the day in the morning, rain was forecasted.

However, the prayer warriors petitioned the God of heaven who always answers prayer! Instead of rain and wind, most miraculously there was bright sunshine. What a mighty God we serve! Thank you everyone for praying and standing with us.

Yes, how interesting that in the middle of winter there would be a prediction for wind and rain. Â But thank the lord god almighty, he took a break from saving the starving millions in Dafur, preventingÂ radiationÂ poisoningÂ in Japan, helping a mid-sized university team in the mid west of the USA win their game, to blow the clouds away and make sure that his glorious sun shone down on the rising up of Australia. Â Pasta Lion must surely know that he is much loved by god because god will down tools to make sure the sun shines on him. Â How marvellous that god always answers prayers when petitioned by prayer warriors, he clearly doesn’t want to get them off side, them being warriors and all.

I’m surprised that the media didn’t pick up on this miracle. Â Such greatness has certainly got my vote.

Read more about him in previous blogs ↩

Prayer Warriors and Demons – CTFM

Bruce — Sat, 21 May 2011 01:09:00 +0000

[SOURCE]

PastaÂ Daniel Nalliah at Catch The Fire Ministries¹has been saving people for jesus!

I am sure you will remember some time ago we shared the testimony of a young woman who came to CTFM with an evil assignment from the satanic cult in Australia, but the Lord Jesus Christ touched her and she was born-again!

Praise allah! Â Can’t you get locked up for touching young women? Â Did she have the evil assignment on her iPad or in a sealed envelope perhaps? Â But don’t worry, we won’t expect too much information, your word is good enough for the likes of us!

This young lady was very badly burned the first time we saw her. On many occasions she has come to us for help with severe physical injuries, including stab wounds, torture, burns, etc. On 2 occasions I contacted the police because her injuries were so severe. Once the police came to CTFM and on another occasion I personally went to the police station with Jason.Â However, I was very surprised to see the way they reacted with no real interest at all.

Police are uninterested in stab wounds, torture, burns and etc? Â Really? Â Must be some information missing here Danny poo, but don’t let that get in the way of a good story. Â Later on in the story you tell us she’s into self harm… you think that’s why the police aren’t interested? Â Perhaps they suggested to you that she needs some support from a mental health professional, but no, that wouldn’t fit in with all those demons would it.

We continued to minister the love, truth, and power of Jesus

I can’t believe you actually said truth and jesus in the same sentence, they don’t go together at all. Â Best to call on jesus rather than getting someone who knows what they’re doing, like a doctor.

to her over the past one year or more and have cast hundreds of demonic spirits out of this young woman. I have cast out many demons out of many people in many countries, but I must say that I have never seen anyone so demon possessed.

HundredsÂ of demonic spirits, wow, that’s really impressive. Â I’m surprised it hasn’t been on the telly. Â No doubt it’s because of her satanic up bringing. Â I’m not sure who has the bigger delusion, you because you can make some poor girl wail on a stage, or the girl for thinking you actually ‘cast out’ demons. Â How do you know how many? Â Perhaps they come out in a puff of black smoke, just like they do on the TV.

Simultaneously, the satanic cult and their demonic hordes continued to attack her which has caused much harm to her.

Oh yes, hordes of demons sent by a cult to attack another cult. Â It’s war out there! Â Best gather the prayer warriors! Â Quick, on your knees, bitches.

I personally received several threats from the cult, which I took to the police. The police responded that they cannot accept my complaint, but would take necessary action if anything happened to me, which I thought was interesting and very strange.

The police are powerless against hordes of demons no doubt, or they’re actually grounded in the real world and understand you’re a complete nutter.

This young woman has been demonically programmed into many personalities, and when one of those demonic personalities is operating, she does not know anything she is doing.

Did you seek appropriate medical advice for her, did you consider dissociative identity disorder? Oh no, you wouldn’t because you clearly know it’s demons and you can cast them out with magic words!

Thus on many occasions, I believe she has harmed herself, but sincerely believes that there are other people from the cult doing it.

So now she’s doing the self harm, but you want to believe it’s also other people. Based on some sort of evidence no doubt. Â Oh yes, they’re satanic, want more evidence would you need! Â Have you ever looked at someone and thought that they need serious help for their mental stability? Â No, you think that you can save them with magic words, a wave of your hands and hugs.

One thing for sure is that there are some very evil people out there who are possessed with demonic spirits who head up the satanic cult and are able to prey on innocent victims, programme them and get their dirty work done.

One thing for sure is that there are some very evil christian people out there who are possessed with delusions who head up the christian cult and are able to prey on innocent victims, programme them and get their dirty work done.

Recently 2 police officers came looking for this young woman at our Sunday night worship service. I met them at the reception along with this young woman. They told her in front of me that her 11 year old half brother was very badly injured and was at the Royal Childrenâ€™s Hospital. According to this young woman, he died a few days later. She believes he was badly tortured by the satanic cult.

You do know that the police actually investigate that stuff. Â Oh, no doubt they’re part of the minions of satan that have been programmed to get his dirty work done.

A few months ago a member of the satanic cult brought a court case against me and tried to get a restraining order against me, so that I cannot minister to this young woman. It was very interesting as I had to appear at the Frankston Magistrate Court.

So, the court will listen to the satanic cult, but not you.

When the Judge read the documentation, he looked at the prosecuting lawyer and said that he was not interested in this case because Catch The Fire was doing a good job in helping this young woman….Â He then closed the file and said that he will not issue a restraining order against me. We were so happy to see the way God moved…. Glory to God.

Woo hoo! Â The judge was on your side. Â No doubt the satanic cult are cursing jesus! Â Or the judge knew they didn’t have a leg to stand on and it had nothing to do with you.

I thank God that we did not give up but persisted with this young woman. We are now beginning to see a real breakthrough. In the past 3 weeks many more demonic spirits have left her, she has been coughing up a lot of blood as the evil spirits left her.

Many more demons and she’s coughing up blood. Â She’s sounding really sick. Â Have you been to the doctors yet? Coughing up blood is very serious.

Glory to God, yesterday Wednesday the 18th of May she was baptised in water at the CTFM base in Melbourne in the presence of around 50 prayer warriors who will continue to work with her until she has complete victory in our Lord Jesus Christ!Â I thank God for a fantastic team of prayer warriors he has given me. They are just absolutely fantastic.

Yay! Â Another convert. Another poor sick person who has mental, emotional andÂ physicalÂ needs that have been completely ignored by this rabid cult, who think dipping you in water is more important than offering medical assistance. Â Who thinks that there’s a war going on with demons and prayer warriors. Â A pasta sauce who thinks his pathetic arsehole god, who loves all of his creation, but allows poor innocent girls to be infected with evil demons, gives him prayer warriors. Â God gives prayer warriors to Pasta Dan. Â What an arrogant arse.

When we first met this young woman, she could not carry on a conversation due to continually manifesting demons and would often try to run away.

When you say she tried to run away, do you mean that you prevented her from leaving? Â You restrained her against her will?

However, yesterday she shared a brief testimony and thanked God for helping her to be free.

Jesus will solve everything! Â Just as well she had you to keep her on the straight and narrow. Â You’ve saved her soul!

She also gave high fives to many on the team and gave me a hug which she could not do before.

There’s a sign of jesus if I ever saw one, christians giving each other high fives. Â And I hope she gave you a christian side hug, I’d hate for you to be getting hard holding the previous bride of satan in your arms.

Please pray for this young girl as we believe she will be a powerful witness for Jesus.

Yes, you’ve let her believe that you’ve cast out the demons, so she is now beholden to your cult. Â She must now do your dirty work.

She is the granddaughter of Anton LaVey, the founder of the church of satan in the 1960â€™s in the US.

Spooky!

This girl had a satanic prophetic destiny to fulfil as they wanted her to lead the church of satan for the next generation,

You do realise that this is asÂ concoctedÂ as your own stupid beliefs. Â No jesus, no satan, stop wasting your life!

but glory to God that she will now fulfil the prophetic destiny of Jesus for the next generation in the Kingdom of God!

Oh and aren’t you the proud one. Â God would be so stuck without your greatness.

We need to see more of the supernatural manifest presence of God.

That’d be good, let us know when your almighty god thingy does manifest. Â Until then, you really should be held accountable for the vile process of using people with medical and mental health issues as justification for your imaginary friends in the sky.

Many Blessings,

Pr Daniel Nalliah

Oh to be as blessed as you Pasta Daniel Nalliah. Â Cover me in your sauce, wet me with your holy water, give me a high five and cast out my demons.
Â

My other blogs on CTFM ↩

Send Help!

Bruce — Mon, 09 May 2011 10:19:48 +0000

[SOURCE]

Millions of muslims are being called to invadeÂ JerusalemÂ on May 15th. Â Millions. Â Do you know how many that is!

Apparently they’re just going to walk right in, sit right down, baby let your hair hang down. Â Everybody’s talking ’bout a new way of walking
Do you want to lose you mind? Â Sorry, tragic I know, I should be taking this seriously. Â Over at Catch The Fire Ministries Pastor Dan wants us to pray, of course:

Please pray as never before for Jerusalem (Psalm 122:6), because if this truly happens, we will see a major war breakout in Israel very soon.

Well, that’s got me convinced.

The information is fromÂ Curt Landry of One New Man United, he claims there are Facebook pages and wants to prevent this from happening:

As Israelâ€™s neighbors are calling for her destruction, we are calling for Christians everywhere to take a stand…

Yay! Â That’s it, all you christians, get over there to the borders and link arms to prevent the muslims from coming in. Â That’s a heck of away to stop a bunch of wandering muslims from getting into Israel. Â Good solid action.

…to pray and fast for Israel in the days ahead. In order to facilitate this cause, we have created a group called One New Man United, which will exist as OneNewManUnited.org and under a Facebook page in order to raise awareness.

Wait… what?

…to pray and fast for Israel in the days ahead

Oh yeah, that’s gonna work. Â The prayers of a billion christians, ably assisted by their hunger, will prevent this! Â God will no doubt hear their anguish and will intervene. Â Watch the video, it’s sure to convince you.

And a Facebook page is such a proactive action. Â Creating a page will no doubt bring youÂ thousands… of dollars, there’s a donate button.

A perceived threat that this christian fuckwad thinks is real, a serious issue for peace in the middle east, and Â what does he suggest? Â Praying and fasting, and a Facebook page. Â The scary part about it is that a million muslims will not walk into Israel on May 15th, they’ll be too busy saying prayers or something to be thatÂ organised, let alone the logistics of supporting that many people. Â Where are they gonna shit? Â Dig a hole in the desert and take a crap…. oh, never mind. Â Anyway, no way. Â Besides, aren’t you lot suppose to be raptured on May 12th, so what do you care? Â May 15th will pass without incident and the people that have fallen for this latest outrageous hoax will think they did it. Â They’ll think that their desert dwelling Pixie in Sandalsâ„¢ will convert the muslims and the day will be saved, and everyone will go to heaven.

Will you consider joining us as an effective, unified Bodyâ€”as One New Man Unitedâ€”lifting up Israel in support through prayer and fasting?

No. Â Fuck off.

As usual, christians are asked to do nothing of any practical use at all, against a non-existentÂ threat, so they can pretend they prevented it all from happening.

Praise the Pixie In Sandalsâ„¢.

Christian Arrogance

Bruce — Fri, 22 Apr 2011 01:42:13 +0000

[SOURCE]

While driving along the freeway this couple in their late 70’s and elders of the inexcusable Catch The FireÂ Ministries had an accident.

They were towing a trailer and noticed it wasn’t travelling correctly, so pulled over on the side of a very busy freeway to make Â some adjustments. Â Realising that this wasn’tÂ particularlyÂ safe, they got in the car just in time to see a set of headlights in the rear view mirror, that car then collided with them, smashing the trailer and ripping the roof off their car.

In their supreme arrogance, they credit god with saving their old arses from meeting him. Â They reckon it’s a mircale. Â Why? Â Because:

My husbandâ€™s words were â€œOh. No.â€.Â He was the driver at the time and could see it all coming.Â On hearing those words I knew that this meant TROUBLE, and my immediate response was to call out â€˜J E S U Sâ€™ as in a cry for help, and at that very moment my husband sensed a covering come over the two of us

That’d be my response too – although probably more like “Oh, no, jesus fucking christ, duck!”

And what’s the sense of covering coming over the two of you? Â Like a table cloth, or maybe the tarp off the trailer? Perhaps he wet himself? And when telling the story do you yell the word TROUBLE and do you double space J E S US? Â Do you talk in capital letters? Â And why the fuck, I ask again, why the fuck would god protect you crusty old farts while letting this two year old in anotherÂ accident die? Â Or any other people die in accidents that their stupid dumb-arsed non-existent god could have easily provided a ‘covering’ for them?

So, the minute this elderly couple get out of the car they start praising theirÂ precious god and thanking him and telling everyone there about how jesus saved them. Â This is the same jesus that could have prevent the whole catastrophe by ensuring the trailer was secured and tied down before they left, or he could have made sure the driver of the other car was paying attention, or he could have prevent the old farts from driving on the freeway. Â But no, they actually think that he performed a miracle to save their rubbery bottoms.

To further expand they then think that because jesus saved them, that he is now opening doors when they go to seek help.

As we are connecting with people in the legal system, we are receiving favour in so many areas which is very unusual in this day and age, e.g., we are often told â€œsorry we cannot help youâ€, and when we produce photos of our wreckage, people are absolutely shocked that we made it out alive.Â They change their attitude and ask us to â€œplease take a seat, and I will get someone to help youâ€.

Pardon me while I cover my mouth with a slightly clenched fist and do a little cough.

Do you think that perhaps the reason the legal system is helping you is because somebody hit you and caused damage thereby putting them in the wrong?

There’s way too much misery, death, destruction and all around unhappiness in the world. It’s very arrogant of anyone to suggest that it is god looking after them in their good fortune.

As we head into this celebration of Dead Deity on a Stick, as people move around to go home to be with their families and friends over this extra long weekend, be careful out there, not because accidents happen, but because christians are out there waiting for a miracle, resist the urge to aim your car towards them.

CTFM – Bruce Llama

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