women – Bruce Llama http://www.brucellama.com That's one crazy Llama Mon, 04 Jan 2016 02:22:31 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.5.4 5 Conclusions I Firmly Believe http://www.brucellama.com/2011/03/20/5-conclusions-i-firmly-believe-christian-news-the-christian-post/ http://www.brucellama.com/2011/03/20/5-conclusions-i-firmly-believe-christian-news-the-christian-post/#comments Sun, 20 Mar 2011 06:10:54 +0000 http://www.brucellama.com/?p=1873 [SOURCE]

Over at the The Christian Post Perry Noble has been talking about things he firmly believes but leaves out the really good stuff that he also firmly believes.

He’s a sweet guy that thinks jesus will save him for his wise words in saving all those sinners.  He’s excited because he’s been reading 1 Timothy 2:3-7 – hey, 1 Timothy 2 has 15 verses.  Why are you just picking out a few?

Let’s have a look at 1 Timothy 2 that he talks so fondly of:

1 I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people—

All people – how inclusive!

2 for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness.

Yes, kings and leaders need to live in peace, I can see why he likes that line.

3 This is good, and pleases God our Savior,

This is where he’s getting excited, it’s nice that god is happy when the kings are happy.  It explains so much about war.

4 who wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth.

Oh yes, I can see why he thinks this is important, gives him a puffed up sense of importance, but if their god wants all people to be saved, why did he make it so fucking hard, the rules are impossible to follow, vague and inconsistent.

5 For there is one God and one mediator between God and mankind, the man Christ Jesus,

I bet he’s nearly hard by now, one god!  Everyone else must be wrong, so we best listen to him.  Oh, great, but now we have to go to god through he’s middle man- but wait, isn’t that his son?

6 who gave himself as a ransom for all people. This has now been witnessed to at the proper time.

Gave himself?  I thought god told him to do it.  But there you have it, jesus was selfless, just like this bozo, he thinks he’s giving himself as a ransom too – so that he might save you.  Arrogant prick.

7 And for this purpose I was appointed a herald and an apostle—I am telling the truth, I am not lying—and a true and faithful teacher of the Gentiles.

Good on Perry Noble thinks he’s been appointed.   He says:

I was called, gifted, equipped and am expected to be a HERALD of the GOSPEL!!! Once again, if I am not focused on proclaiming the Gospel to a world that does not know Christ…then I am NOT fulfilling HIS primary calling on my life!

Ahem.  And he actually believes this shit?  Are you serious?  And what about the bible passage, you have to tell us this is the truth?  You’re not lying?  Why do you say that?  Do you think we might think you’re making this crap up?

Now the rest of it he doesn’t want to talk about, but you can bet he thinks this is just as important – but he knows how unpopular this would be.  Mind you, it’s so akin to some rabid muslims making sure their woman are always covered and never seen outside the home.

8 Therefore I want the men everywhere to pray, lifting up holy hands without anger or disputing.

Well, that’s not working too well is it.

9 I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes,

Hang on, men should pray by lifting up their hands, but women should dress modestly, they should behave themeselves and not wear expensive clothes.

10 but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.

And who decides what’s appropriate and what’s a good deed?

11 A woman[a] should learn in quietness and full submission.

Oh, well, where does that leave our Prime Minister?  Hilary Clinton?  Well, women everywhere really.

12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet.

Ummm… problem…. women are people too.  Why do you want to shut them up?

13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve.

Oh, right, so that means that it’s all ok.  Men are more important because they came first.

14 And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner.

Yeah, the fucking bitch.  That cheap fucking harlot.  She’s the downfall of all humanity.

15 But women[c] will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety.

See – it’s all ok.  Even though those vile wenches fucked it up for the rest of us, if they have kiddies and continue to believe and live in love and holiness and with propriety, whatever that is, as long as they shut the fuck up and don’t get above themselves.

But does our friend, Perry Noble touch any of that?  Well no, he just focuses on the first couple of verses.  3-7 – the good stuff about saving people, but he nicely ignores the bad stuff.  He is quite happy to let women shut up and have babies.  They’re not to be trusted.

An appalling attitude, no wonder christianity is fucked.  And you mark my words, if you let radical fundamentalist of the christian persuasion run their radical social agenda women will be treated like dirt and blamed for every wrong doing on the face of the earth.

 

 

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]]> http://www.brucellama.com/2011/03/20/5-conclusions-i-firmly-believe-christian-news-the-christian-post/feed/ 1 Killing people http://www.brucellama.com/2010/11/27/killing-people/ http://www.brucellama.com/2010/11/27/killing-people/#comments Fri, 26 Nov 2010 23:04:50 +0000 http://www.brucellama.com/?p=1612 [SOURCE]

Blasphemy is a capital offence in Pakistan.

They want to hang a woman because she said bad things about an imaginary god.

She’s married.

Has 5 children.

Her family is in hiding.

Why is there even a question about whether or not she deserves the death penalty?  This is stupid, stupid, stupid.  More stupid than a bunch of randy alpacas pretending to be llamas.

Nobody gets hurt by blasphemy.  Allah doesn’t get so pissed off that he causes floods.  Jesus doesn’t get so pissed off that he causes earthquakes, god doesn’t get so pissed off that he cause tsunamis.  That just doesn’t happen.

And as if these great deities of our own invention aren’t big and brave enough to smote those that they have a problem with.

Stupid bullshit crap.

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]]> http://www.brucellama.com/2010/11/27/killing-people/feed/ 2 Adoption for all http://www.brucellama.com/2010/09/04/adoption-for-all/ Sat, 04 Sep 2010 09:04:31 +0000 http://www.brucellama.com/?p=1524 [SOURCE]

The New South Wales parliament has passed a bill allowing same-sex couples to adopt.  And it’s about bloody time.

Predictably the wankers are out in force, using the same old tired arguments, you know, what about the rights of the child, the child has a right to a mother and a father, children do best when their parents are married and opposite and on and on they go.

Of course, the bit that they continually neglect to mention is that they’re religious fuck knuckles.  They think that homosexuality is wrong.  There’s a stress in their lives and when they talk about the rights of the child, they don’t really give a flying fuck about those rights, it’s a device they use to hide behind, because what’s really driving them to distraction is that they think god won’t like what’s happening.

This is despite the fact that their god has done fuck all since he created the universe.  He seems rather, well, dead.

The christians fucktards float around the idea that there are an ‘overwhelming’ amount of research that indicates that children ‘fare’ better when they are in a heterosexual parenting household.  It’s even better if the parents are married.

That’s nice.

One right-wing wingnut – Bill Muehlenberg has his knickers in such a twist that he actually thinks the world is on the brink of disaster.  And guess what?  It’d be the gays who are to blame.

In a piece on Online Opinion he talks about how children have a natural birthright to a mother and father.  I’m not sure where the notion of natural birthright comes from, and as far as I know you still need a mother and a father.  I think what he’s getting at is that if you are going to have children then their mother and father should be the custodians.  He uses phrases like ‘radical social experiment’ and a claim:

“The emotional appeals of homosexuals and their own selfish adult demands must be balanced by the interests of the child, and the right of every child to be raised by a mother and a father.”

Emotional appeals? Selfish adult demands?

I think, and this is of course a Llama opinion that you are all entitled too, that people generally want children, sexuality is no barrier for this desire.  All adults are selfish in this regard, no matter what their sexuality, most of us like the idea of having a child, it’s an instinct that drives the human race (and I suspect most other species).  The need to have children is a selfish, inexplicable need that most of us have.  Nobody thinks “I’m going to have a child because I’m in a relationship with a member of the opposite sex”  it’s more likely to be “let’s have children because it’ll be fun and make us happy and my friends have already started”.  This whole notion that somehow only gay people have children for selfish reasons is very short-sighted and crap really.

And what of the right to be raised by a mother and father?  What’s that about really?  Who made up that rule?  I rather suspect Bill made it up.

I agree that children have a right to a safe environment to grow up in.  People like Bill the Maulenberg have it in their minds that the gay lot are evil people.  This is his starting position.  Nothing they want or do can be, in his mind, conceived as being good.

This is despite the fact that his ‘research’ says something along the lines that ‘children do better’ in a straight married family.  They also do better if they live in an affluent suburb, if their parents are rich, if they go to a private school, if daddy has connections for future employment, if mummy can drive a 4WD to soccer practice, if a Liberal governement is in power, if they know the local priest, if they get good grades at school, if they find a fish in their gumboot, if they can tie their pubic hair in knots.

Nobody is suggesting these things.  Nobody says that unless you are employed, in a stable relationship and have the ability to provide top notch money for your offspring, that you can actually have children.

In fact, plenty of children in this world are actually born to parents who are married, but are also poor.  Can’t afford to send the kids to a good school, there may also be issues of lack of food, lack of accommodation, lack of stability.  Nobody says that they can’t have children,  In fact, even if it was somehow mandated, they would still breed.

But Bill Mule-head wants to ignore all of this, it doesn’t even get a mention.  And why not?  I suspect that it’s because of the other things that his article doesn’t mention.  He’s a die-hard christian who thinks that christ is on his way back and he won’t be very happy.  He thinks that god hates fags and we’re all going to be punished.

Gay couples are able to, can do, and will continue to raise children.  What our society needs is proper support of families raising children, regardless of the situation of the parents.  We need proper education, we need proper wages and tax benefits for families.  Not for any stupid religious reasons, but because being a child isn’t the fault of the child, they are at the mercy of the world that they abruptly find themselves in.  They are also our future, we owe it to them to help them grow and develop.

When Bill Fishbrain starts being honest about the real reasons why he posts dribble, then perhaps we can take him seriously, until then, he’s as bad as a rabid alpaca that got shorn before the first snow of the season.

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]]> Bishop Muff Muncher – Part 2 http://www.brucellama.com/2009/12/08/bishop-muff-muncher-part-2/ http://www.brucellama.com/2009/12/08/bishop-muff-muncher-part-2/#comments Tue, 08 Dec 2009 07:10:09 +0000 http://www.brucellama.com/?p=1089 [SOURCE]

So, earlier I blogged on a new bishop for the Episcopal Church.  She was elected a lesbian bishop in a Los Angeles diocese.  That church is part of the Anglican communion, and our very own Sydney  bishop, nay archbishop, Peter Jensen has got his dress in a right twirl.  He’s spinning so much the edges of his long dress are whipping him around his ears, we can even see the wedgie he’s got.

He wants to split the church in to the deeply homophobic and the not so deeply homophobic.

There are thousands, if not millions of people starving in the world.  There are world leaders hanging around in Copenhagen talking about global warming, there are people looking for money, jobs and a nice place to eat dinner.  We have a food crisis, an economic crisis, we are at war in Afghanistan, our bee’s are struggling to survive a nasty little mite and so much more going on, and there are people worrying about whether or not a women, a lesbian, can be a bishop.

It’s all make believe.  If your god was the slightest bit interested, if the silly old goat was really pissed off that front bum lickers are becoming his representatives on Earth don’t you think she would have said something?

Rather than the bitch session, you’d be better off praying.  And we all know how useless that is.

I suspect that Peter Jensen is just worried that she looks better in a dress and a sash.

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]]> http://www.brucellama.com/2009/12/08/bishop-muff-muncher-part-2/feed/ 1 Anal Sex According to the Word of God http://www.brucellama.com/2009/10/22/anal-sex-according-to-the-word-of-god/ http://www.brucellama.com/2009/10/22/anal-sex-according-to-the-word-of-god/#comments Thu, 22 Oct 2009 01:53:09 +0000 http://www.brucellama.com/?p=841 Anal Sex According to the Word of God.

I’ve long thought that too many people have had a go at translating and interpreting the bible.  The true meaning was lost hundreds if not thousands of years ago.  The toss pots that consider it to be the inerrant word of their god are living in a false hope that any of it is true.

Then, along comes Sex In Christ, and they have a different take on some of the words of the wholly babble.

“The virgins of Jerusalem have bowed their heads to the ground,” indicating how a virginal maidens should position themselves to receive anal sex.

That’s very clever.
It’s really easy to reinterpret the bible yourself:

“No one is to cum with you or be seen anywhere on the mountain; not even the flocks and herds may graze in front of the mountain.” Exodus 34:2-4

Here god is telling Moses it’s ok to flog your meat, just don’t do it in sight of any one, and make sure the sheep and goats can’t see you.

“The person to be cleansed must wash his clothes, shave off all his hair and bathe with water. Leviticus 14:7-9

God authorises shaving the chest for twinks.  Pity.

I will pelt you with filth, I will treat you with contempt and make you a spectacle. Nahum 3:5-7

Is this the first kinky session in the bible?

Feel free to go and find your best verses and give them their correct interpretation.  Oh, and whatever you do, don’t try to read the lines in context, that’s always confusing and gets in the way of manipulating the bible to mean what you want it to mean.

So if you want to justify a blow job, butt fucking, having a wank, or swallowing the seed, get along and have a read, then you too can be a good little christian sex pot!

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]]> http://www.brucellama.com/2009/10/22/anal-sex-according-to-the-word-of-god/feed/ 3 Brush me baby http://www.brucellama.com/2009/04/06/brush-me-baby/ Mon, 06 Apr 2009 09:07:25 +0000 http://www.brucellama.com/?p=441 It would seem that the two weekly Israeli newspapers  Yated Neeman and Shaa Tova can’t cope with women, at all.  So much so, that they airbrushed a couple of cabinet ministers out of the new line up for the Israeli government. [SOURCE].  One of the papers just blacked them out, the other cut and paste a couple of blokes over the top of them.

It seems that the ultra-conservative Jewish editors think that it defiles a woman to print their image. I mean really, one of the women has her wrists and lower arm showing, the slut, and the other is showing way to much chest, her dress is so low cut, another 3 centimetres and you’d see her cleavage.

There might only be a thousand ultra-conservative Jews in Israel, who knows.  Its disturbing that even in this day and age, women are seen as something that needs to be hidden away from public gaze.  You just never know, a man might be tempted if he sees so much as a knobbly wrist.

Women the world over need more respect, (actually men too) whether its the christian attitude of no women priest, or the muslim beating of teenage girls or the jewish concept of  hide them away, its got to stop.  It may only be a small part of each of the faiths, but the fact that crappy attitudes still exist in 2009 is appalling.

Another example of a bunch of men hiding behind religion to justify their own insecurity about the world.  Women have as much right to be here as you you bible bashing bullies. (Torah tripping toads or Koran killing kunts) Ditch god and become a proper human being and then this Llama will consider you evolved.  Until then please go out and play with the alpacas.

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